The Trump House: Season 1

A proposed new reality TV show could transform how we view American politics.

February 18, 2017

In terms of entertainment value, American politics just keeps getting better and better. While the world wonders about what the latest event in the unfolding train wreck will be, actual politics (until now, considered a government’s usual occupation) takes a back seat.

Anybody who believes Trump is just a mega-bumbler seriously underestimates his business acumen. Remember, for him the point of getting to the White House was not about running the United States, but to increase the value of the Trump brand and to create endless new avenues of making money, piles of it.

The reader will therefore not be surprised to hear that one of the special projects of his daughter Ivanka is to shop a TV deal, where the White House and the Oval Office become the surreal stage of it all.

Leaked details

To wet the global audience’s appetite, the show’s would-be producers have leaked some details of the proposed project. In that regard, they are aptly following the example of U.S. intelligence services.

The name of the (fictional) show will be The Trump House (runner-up names included The Trump Bunch, Trump’s World and I’m a Trump. Get Me Out of Here).

Along with the show’s proposed title, a short plot teaser was also leaked to gauge the public’s reaction:

What will Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s and Presidential Counselor Kellyanne Conway’s latest desperately attempt at damage control be?

What new fiasco transpired during the night? Or is this morning’s episode about them?

Has Conway ventured into retail advertisement again? Has Spicer finally done it and punched someone? Find out in today’s episode of…

The show will no doubt also on occasion feature a little more intrigue, courtesy of Michael Flynn, an expert in military intelligence, religion, cancer surgery and getting himself fired by Trump on the fast track. His involvement is intended to secure the show’s appeal in the Russian TV market.

Potentially better than The West Wing

According to an unnamed insider, the show will be “wonderful” and will win more Grammy awards than The West Wing.

An unverified list (compiled by a former British intelligence agent) of the first 10 episodes of Season 1 has also been leaked:

Episode 1 – Mexico will pay for it
Episode 2 – Alternative facts
Episode 3 – It’s not a ban
Episode 4 – Fake news
Episode 5 – So-called Judge
Episode 6 – See you in court
Episode 7 – Bowling Green Massacre
Episode 8 – Go buy Ivanka Stuff
Episode 9 – A very long handshake
Episode 10 – It’s not a legal issue

According to a journalist who has seen a rough script, The Trump House could be categorised as a drama/tragedy. She describes it as a crossover of Dallas, Law and Order, Keeping Up with the Kardashians and the Home Shopping Network.

There are no details yet about what the theme music of the show will be. However, speculation is rife that the opening and closing credits will feature a banjo solo performed by actor Jon Voight – Trump’s biggest fan in Hollywood.

The in-episode music will most likely be that of one of the two artists that performed at Trump’s inauguration.

If Alec Baldwin can do it

The producers of “The Trump House” are positioning the show to run in the same time slot as Saturday Night Live. The actual aim is to get NBC to dump its long-running SNL program. Ivanka is apparently prepared to offer NBC a special price if the network goes for the offer.

The Trump family is adamant about moving ahead with the proposal. It is greatly concerned that The Donald’s big ego will take a dangerous hit if the “thing” that happened with Alec Baldwin recently will happen again.

His impersonation is so convincing that the Dominican Republic’s El Nacional newspaper even mistook a picture of him to be a picture of President Trump. The newspaper has apologized for its understandable mistake.

Behind the scenes: Season 2 teaser

The beauty of The Trump House concept is that we don’t know what else is being secretly cooked up in the White House that has not hit the news yet. What are Rex Tillerson and Steve Bannon up to, for example? They have been awfully quiet, haven’t they?

Perhaps Bannon is drafting another Muslim ban while listening to a reading (by himself) of Samuel Huntington’s “Clash of Civilizations” on his iPod. Perhaps Tillerson is writing a speech for some Gazprom gala dinner. We will just have to wait for Season 2 to find out.

While there is almost no information on Season 2, apparently one episode will involve the addition of a PayPal button on the White House website. Another will involve redecorating the Oval Office and renaming it the Gold Room.

If Season 2 is even half as entertaining as Season 1 promises to be, which will go through an attorney general, a national security advisor and an (almost) labor secretary, it will certainly be worth watching. In fact, a prominent (again unnamed) insider promises that it will be “huge.”

Note: All proceeds of The Trump House will go to the families of the victims of the Bowling Green Massacre. #MakeAmericaEntertainingAgain

Takeaways

For Trump, the point of getting to the White House was not about running the US, but to increase the Trump brand value.

What are Rex Tillerson and Steve Bannon up to? They have been awfully quiet, haven’t they?

American politics just keeps getting better and better in terms of entertainment value.